How to be the Only Happy Person in Your Job

One happy person

Happiness is a choice. The reason I smile when I help you is not because I have an amazing job, or because I get paid a great salary, but because despite the job being simple and sometimes stressful, I decided to enjoy something out of it. It’s the lovely people the come visit everyday, the taste of new products, and making jokes with my coworkers. I do not expect my job to fulfill me or become my dream job. I do what I like outside of work. And this is someone who has a degree, I’m “overqualified” for the job, but the people that come into my job do not even have that and they just complain and complain.

It is frustrating to see young people walk away from their new jobs because there is so much work to do. “This is not what I expected,” they tell me. “I am not getting paid enough to deal with all these angry customers!” Yeah, but neither does your mom or your teacher or the bus driver.

I do not believe that the amount  I get paid should dictate the quality of my service. My service is priceless and I am glad someone is paying me something for it. The customers that walk into the store I work for just want to have a nice experience during their time off and they work hard for their money like I do. That alone motivates me to be helpful and give people good customer service. Sometimes coworkers or customers get impatient and try to treat me like I’m stupid, and all I’m thinking is “Excuse me, but I have a bachelor’s degree, what do you have but just impatience and a stinky personality.” I let it slide and do not take it out on anyone. Then I go and smile at my next customer and give them a good time. Even if my bachelor’s degree did not land me a good paying job, at least it gave me something to draw confidence from.

What Students Really Need to Hear

beautiful:

“Why pass *put your class here* when I will not use it in real life?” Because school is more than passing classes and reading books, it is about building character, building discipline and lots of other things that will not happen if you give up and do not use your resources.

Originally posted on affectiveliving:

It’s 4 a.m.  I’ve struggled for the last hour to go to sleep.  But, I can’t.  Yet again, I am tossing and turning, unable to shut down my brain.  Why?  Because I am stressed about my students.  Really stressed.  I’m so stressed that I can only think to write down what I really want to say — the real truth I’ve been needing to say — and vow to myself that I will let my students hear what I really think tomorrow.

This is what students really need to hear:

First, you need to know right now that I care about you. In fact, I care about you more than you may care about yourself.  And I care not just about your grades or your test scores, but about you as a person. And, because I care, I need to be honest with you. Do I have permission to be…

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Important Taoist Thought: Seeing Things as They Are.

Is getting a Pooh stuck on the hole a bad thing?I am also borrowing from the Taoist writings, which is a classic work from the Huai-nan-tse which is about the importance of identifying whether something is truly a problem to then decide if you should even try to to solve it. An important Taoist philosophy is seeing things for what they really are.

“An Old Man and his son lived in an abandoned fortress on the side of a hill. Their only possession of value was a horse.

One day, the horse ran away. The neighbors came by to offer sympathy. “That’s really bad!” they said. “How do you know?” asked the old man.

The next day, the horse returned, bringing with it several wild horses. The old man and his son shut them all inside the gate. The neighbors hurried over. “That’s really good!” they said. “How do you know?” asked the old man.

The day after that, the army came through, forcing the local young men into service to fight a faraway battle against the northern barbarians. Many of them would never return. But the son couldn’t go, because he’d broken his leg.” (172, The Te of Piglet).

 

Te- A Chinese Word meaning Virtue- of the small.

il_340x270.431857240_hm77I am currently reading the book “Te of Piglet” which someone really special recommended to me because it is about looking through the perspective of the weak and small. Piglet, the cute small pink pig who always hung around Winnie-the-Pooh always felt self-conscious of how small and fragile he was, and would often be scared of everything, even things that were not there. However, Piglet has amazing qualities to offer the world which is illustrated in this book “The Te of Piglet,” which represents an important principle in Taoism: Te is the Chinese word that means Virtue of the small.

Below I have placed a passage from the book that puts to question what is really considered good or bad. Things that are considered good, such as being successful, wealthy and beautiful is not always such a good thing:

“Its considered good to be beautiful, but many people through being beautiful have ruined their lives and the lives of others. It’s considered bad to be unattractive, but because of being unattractive, many have come to concern themselves with matters more important than the surface appearance and have gone on to make something Special of themselves- in quite a few case becoming Beautiful in the process.

It’s considered good to be healthy and strong, but many energetic people lose their health and strength by taking what they have for granted, not knowing what it’s like to be old and depleted-and therefore not taking care of themselves- until it is Too Late.

It’s considered bad to be ill and weak, but many have responded to such conditions by examining their lives and changing the ways of doing things, thereby building up their health and strength to remarkable degrees.

Unattractiveness, illness, and weakness have many valuable lessons to teach to those willing to learn from them.”

-“The Te of Piglet” by Benjamin Hoff

This is very encouraging, and we should be happy about what we learn from not having it all. We also should not be quick to judge ourselves so harshly when we do not know how certain things will affect us in the long run.

Blowing a Dandelion

Special Sunglasses that Help You See Past the Advertisement

Imagine if you could wear a pair of glasses that would let you see secret messages within ads! Well now they exist! Just kidding they don’t. However that idea comes from a movie, called, “They Live” which came out in 1988 directed by John Carpenter. It explores how media is used by people in power to slowly control people into buying, obeying and staying asleep. However, it gets even crazier by also revealing that people in power are all aliens!

If we had those glasses that would let us see all the manipulation in everyday media, imagine how much more we would learn about the world around us. It is an eye opening exercise if we sat down and wondered what we would see. For example, in from of the dieting books section in the books stores I could see the message “Become Nothing” written on top of them. In front of reality shows I would see the message “Judge and Obey” since it makes you judge other people and feel good about yourself for being “civilized.” In front of fast food places I can see the messages “Binge” since they use hunger inducing colors and accumulated specials, that for only a few cents more you can make your small meal into a big one!

What messages would you see?

But since we will never get sunglasses that can conveniently do that for us, we simply have to do it the hard way. Doing nothing is what they refer to as “staying asleep.” Within all that junk, we need to find and discern information so that we will become aware between what is healthy and beneficial and what are lies and harmful to other people. Practice thinking for yourself, form opinions, and learn different view points.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32.

 

Bob Ross, Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood and Cesar Millan: Gentle People Can Have Strong Presences Too

I am not a loud and charismatic person. I am not witty, or make a lot of jokes.  I need to have some time alone, or with one other person to rest. If I do not get that, I get exhausted and anxious, so I only like to have a small group of close friends. I felt that people like me are usually in the background, not really exciting to be around or watch even less have a strong presence. How can people like me be leaders? But after watching the way that Bob Ross, Fred Rogers and Cesar Millan  taught and carried themselves, and how much I admire and liked to watch their programs, I was encouraged by the fact that quiet and calm people also carry a strong presence.

Ross's Landscape Painting

 

You do not have to be a painter to appreciate what Bob Ross had to say. Bob Ross was a very talented artist who was aired in PBS who would amaze people by how almost effortlessly he would paint gorgeous landscapes. He advocated finding and following your own passion, an outlet. If you don’t have one, it will only fill up inside of you and can turn into something negative, like depression, emptiness, and lack of purpose. It is not about finding something “cool and exciting” it is about finding something that you believe in, and find fulfilling. If it is important to you, then it is important.  He would say, “There are not such things as mistakes, just happy accidents.” He would talk while painting, and he was so soft spoken and gentle, yet his talent and his confidence made him someone that you wanted to be like.

Mr. RogersFred Rogers, known for his children program “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood” was also a quiet, calm and assertive person. He was not just an actor that hosted the program, he fought for the program to air on television, wrote the script and composed all the songs. Rogers believed that children needed a place to learn about the world in a healthy environment, not what you see in places like Cartoon Network or other shows that are just for entertainment and create over the top characters. Fred Rogers wanted children to know how to deal with their everyday challenges, such as being scared of getting a haircut or to how to deal with family arguments . He stressed the need for respect for children. Mr. Rogers defended children’s television in front of the U.S. Senate when their proposed grant of $20 million dollars was going to get cut in half to $10 million. To put things into perspective, $6,000 only pays for 6 minutes of airtime on television. He gave the U.S. senate “goosebumps” while he was calmly explaining why his show is important to children and read one song outloud for him. Talk about a strong presence!

Lastly, the show, “Dog Whisperer” by Cesar Millan, shows what a powerful effect being calm and assertive can do on a dog. Dogs are pack animals who feed on the feelings and body language that their owners reflect. If the owner is nervous, the dog will become nervous and want to protect their owners. If the owner is feeling calm and assertive, the dog will retreat and follow the owner. I love “Dog Whisperer” because it teaches people how to carry themselves, not just in front of dogs, but other people. It teaches you how to build trust with a dog so that it can relax and let you be the “pack leader”. It gets you back to the basics of how to communicate, starting with boundaries, exercise and discipline and then love. Millan never says to overpower you dog, or show him who is “the boss,” he constantly repeats, even after commercial breaks, “Stay calm and assertive.”

He knows how to walk this many dogs because he stays calm and assertive

Fred Rogers, Bob Ross and Cesar Millan show how power does not always come from being loud, overbearing or aggressive, it more effectively comes from being constant, gentle, and assertive.

 

Getting Over It: Make-Up Does Not Change Your Life

I had my two years where I thought make-up was the most amazing thing in the world.

When I discovered concealer and blush, I found a way to trick my parents that I was not overly exhausted and malnourished because of all the finals I was studying for, while eating ramen and sugary boba milk teas. Which also explained to me why all the skinny underweight girls looked so healthy, because they could hide pale cheeks with blush, and dark circles with concealer.

I was amazed at the quality and finish of make-up. How it just melted on the skin, how beautiful duo-chromes looked on my eyelids, and how beautiful and different I felt wearing make-up that I actually knew how to apply.

Before my discovery, I wore no make-up, and sometimes just eyeliner. I used to get stressed out when we would have parties, because I had no clue how to do myself up, and walking into a Sephora make-up store was overwhelming. I did not know the difference between a foundation and a concealer. However, once I started watching Youtube sensations like Michelle Phan and Elle and Blair, I learned how to do my own make-up and I just ran with it.

However, the more make-up I owned, the longer it would take me to get ready in the morning, and choosing eyeshadows to put on turned to be longer than choosing what to wear. I would feel sick in my stomach when I would see how much make-up beauty gurus had, and how many of the same thing they owned. I started searching youtube for “See my make-up” videos just to be surprised at HOW MUCH MAKE-UP some girls had. Not all of it was all bad, some gurus that had a lot of make-up reviewed products so we did not have to spend money on bad products, or since they had so much make-up they had tried, they could say with experience what they thought was the best, but not everyone was beauty gurus. Watching other girls was so depressing… simply because of the high opportunity cost. They could have invested in something, saved up, donated it, travelled, but it went to fancied out talc powder and cheap quality creams with high labels. That was when I started getting over make-up as a novelty.

Make-up has been known for being addicting. There are make-up junkies, like Hilary Kosofsky, who got $14,00 in debt for buying so much make-up. They are wrapped like candy, sold as “must-haves,” and advertised to make our lives more exciting. Make-up can be so addicting because a product is never quite perfect, and we love watching transformation videos and learning about make-up application tips. Make-up companies know that and advertise make-up that is slightly better than the last expensive item. I remember my mom just having a lipstick in her purse to get her through the day, now its women carrying a whole bunch of other things in their purse. I started wondering how much I was buying into the advertisements, and started feeling guilty over spending $14 on one color eyeshadow. I knew I was not spending my money wisely.

I wanted to be out the door as soon as I put a shirt and jeans on. I wanted to sleep more, and I loved how it felt to have my clean face get some sun without feeling nervous someone might see me. It really does feel different when you are used to wearing make-up. I did not want to get more eyeshadow palettes when they practically never run out! They last forever, so why get more? On your eyes, other people don’t really notice if you are wearing regular pink, or pink coral. Also, it expires, so it is not really something you want to collect if you are not using it. Lastly, having more make-up, especially more eyeshadow colors, does not really make your day more exciting. I would imagine how cool I would be getting an “cool” color with some scandalous sexy name, but when I would actually wear it was still an okay day. You forget you are wearing it, and if you have double eyelids, you can’t even see it when your eyes open.

I am not saying don’t wear make-up, because I would be a hypocrite since I wear make-up and I really like the Urban Decay Naked Palette for example. I just do not put as much importance about wearing make-up everyday, and I don’t mind if my friends and family see me without make-up anymore. I’ve gone to work with no make-up on some days. I want girls to see all ways: light make-up, skilled make-up and no make-up as all being good things, but enjoying more often not wearing make-up since that is your beautiful natural face. Just stick with what you already own. You are losing your money, and don’t realize the opportunity cost until you find yourself not being able to afford something truly important.